


Of Love and Disco Sticks

by Jilted_Muse (Shadecat)



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-26
Updated: 2010-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-10 19:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/103676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadecat/pseuds/Jilted_Muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dazzling adventure of 'How Arthur stuck his Disco Stick in Merlin's mouth (And how Merlin really not-so-secretly liked it)'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Love and Disco Sticks

Arthur pulled his tunic over his head and Merlin averted his eyes. "You're sparkling, Arthur."

Arthur looked down at his chest, then back up at the tiny prisms of light refracting on Merlin's face. "Do I dazzle you?"

Merlin squinted through his fingers. "More like 'blind me', sire. Please keep your trousers on."

Arthur pouted a pouty pout that defied all the logical rules of pout. "But... I wanted to show you my disco stick."

"Maybe you could show me it in the dark? You know, where there's no light to sparkle off of it... I mean, I can't be expected to fully appreciate it if my retinas have been seared."

Arthur nodded sagely, (which is almost like nodding oreganoly, only not quite) and proceeded to order Merlin to douse all the candles and bank the fire.

Two hours later, (trying to bank a fire is harder than it sounds... especially when the 'Bank of Camelot' is being guarded by a three-headed sheep with distemper) Merlin had finally finished his tasks. Arthur's blinding sparkle had been dimmed to an occasional glimmer. He motioned at Arthur's trouser. "Well, let's see this 'disco stick'."

And lo, did Arthur drop trow to display his disco stick, leaving Merlin gaping in awe. Arthur decided that Merlin's mouth looked inviting all gapey and open, so he decided to pop his disco stick inside. Merlin let him, but only because he discovered that disco sticks tasted like pixie sticks. (Merlin had once spent a week at 'Pixie Camp' in Avalon and pixie's were randy little bastards that liked to put their sticks in every available hole. The plus side being that pixies were also made of sugar, so therefore having a pixie stick crammed in your mouth in the middle of the night was a relatively pleasant experience)

Arthur moaned a princely moan and Merlin was surprised to see that the moan came out sparkly. "Mfflmoo, mrffr. Aiirfoo fomllyb farflly." Merlin said with Arthur's disco stick in his mouth. Fortunately for him, Arthur was fluent in 'stick-ese', so was able to translate it into, "Good Lord, Arthur. Why are you so bloody sparkly?"

"Because -ohlordyes- I haven't been able to -yesyesyes- rub one out in a while... and we all know -Iwanttomarryyourtongue- that royal spunk is sparkly. I have a -ohohstickafingerinmyarse- build up of sparkle-spunk. It'll go away as soon as I... -YESALLOVERYOURFACE-"

And so Arthur finally stopped sparkling, his royal sparkly-spunk being deposited all over his servant's face. Arthur peered through his fingers at his suddenly sparkling Merlin. Merlin quirked a sparkly-brow at him. "Do I dazzle _you_, sire?"

Arthur couldn't reply, (what with being dazzled and all) so Merlin took the opportunity to have his way with him. This became a routine occurrence - only fortunately for the sake of their eyes, Arthur never sparkled as much since he rarely had enough of a sparkly-spunk build up to cause him to sparkle like some gangly emo-pire. And they lived happily and spunkily ever after.

The End.


End file.
